Get yourself out from other people's mind

I was attending to a case whereby a lady claimed that her suffering was due to her boyfriend who tortured her mentally . How could this happen? Well this is how the story goes.
" Sometimes I wanted to be just with my children, but if I don't invite him , he probably will think that I am trying to leave him out. But when he turns up, I feel hatred and annoyed at the sight of his appearance."
"I planned to go back for Chinese New Year, but if I go, he might think that I want to runaway from him, I stay back but felt very upset about the matter, what should I do?"
"I can't even make new friends, if I do he probably think that I am trying to push him away?"
So, What is wrong with this lady? Yes, she is living in other people's mind. She worries too much about what other people might think...

1. You are not bond to this person, why cares...let him think what he wants to think, you must do what you think is good and right for you.
2. You cannot stop other people from thinking , let it be..
3 Be genuine, just be yourself, learn to say 'NO' when necessary. Let put yourself the first priority, other people , NEXT.

Lets jump out from his mind, if you don't love him , say so. No need to be over obliging,especially in the interpersonal relationship matter. Many people are not happy because they are not genuine, they try to please others and fulfill other people's wishes.

Teacher and Student

A boy was in the process to be expelled from school for several discipline problems. He is in form 2and only 14. What mistakes could a boy of 14 done to deserve this punishment? I summon the boy to my office. He had list of bad records, beside "ponteng" class, fighting and smoking, he also broke the school fence with the other fellows to escape from the extra mural activities.As usual, in school we have RULES and Regulations that purposely set to be obeyed by the students. Or other wise these students never learn to be discipline.
"Why you did all these? " I asked him. This is what he told me, " No use to be good,nobody ever appreciate me, even if I changed." "What make you think so? What is the prove?" He said, " I tried to be good but the teacher never even looked at me. She never called my name, never asked me a question or told me to do something. So whats the purpose of staying in the class? " You mean all the teachers did that to you?", " No only Cikgu Zu. " " Well do you think this is a good excuse to give up your future?" He frowned, "No.." "There must be a reason why the teacher ignored you, do you think so?" "I never paid attention while she was teaching.."
This is my comments about the whole matter. To be a teacher, you must have a big heart, heart of a mother. Sometimes we failed to identify the course of evils. If the students are all good, well behave, obedience, then teachers no need to go for training, no need to learn the methodology, adolescent psycology etc. Why we need to qualify to be a teacher? Because we are expecting our clients are "problematic" in the process of growing. Yet we forget about all these. we only punished them.

Al Kisah Lembu

Akhir-akhir ini isu lembu telah mengemparkan rakyat Malaysia dan negara-negara jiran. Nescaya isu tersebut telah menjadi bahan ketawa para member kedai kopi. Walau pun isu ini nampak kelakar, tetapi kita tidak seharusnya memandang remeh tentang perkara tersebut.
Pertama, maruah negara telah tercabar.Lembu yang dilambangkan sebagai 'Bodoh'bagi orang Melayu, mungkin kerana setitik nila rosak susu sebelanga. Negara jiran kita angkap orang Malaysia betullah bodoh.Orang lain sedang sibuk gawat ekonomi tapi orang Malaysia tidak habis-habis dengan isu lembu.Balai polis pun sibuk dengan aduan dan saman oleh kerana lembu. Kes ini hampir sama hebat dengan kes Bush kena lempar kasut, diserata dunia orang orang berkenaan telah menghimpunkan kasut, melukis kartun kasut, melukis poster kasut dan lain-lain.Sejurus, rakyat jelata agak terhibur dengan "kasut".
Kedua, ada setengah pihak masih anggap rakyat Malaysia masih hidup pada zaman purba di mana apa yang diperkatakan oleh "Ketua" pastinya benar. Mereka telah lupa bahawa ramai orang yang telah dihantar ke MARA, telah graduat dan jadi manusia berkepala otak geliga.Mereka mampu membuat analisis tentang apa yang berlaku. Siapa betul-betul rasuah dan siapa buat-buat rasuah. Mereka juga dapat bezakan nilai rasuah lembu dengan nilai 5 million yang mana harus diutamakan.
Berikutan dengan itu jelas kita dapat lihat bahawa orang yang dengar cakap lebih berpeluang untuk naik pangkat dibanding dengan orang yang layak. Isu ini telah mencabar martabat dan kewibawaan seseorang menjalankan tugas yang dimandapkan oleh rakyat.Oleh yang demikian, rakyat bertambah keciwa dan kesal, malah takut dan sangsi dengan orang-orang tersebut tadi. Manalah tahu, bila giliran kita pula jadi mangsa.Bukankah mereka diberi kuasa muklak? Tanya tuan-tuan. Ya, tapi kakitangan kerajaan tidak terlepas dari"Saya yang menurut perintah". Pepatah Cina ada berbunyi,"Anjing yang selalu makan tahi akan makan tahi juga walau pun diberi nasi.
Mungkin apa yang diperkatakan tadi semuanya tidak benar. Isu ini timbul kerana satu kesilapan iaitu ada orang tak sabar-sabar nak "jet" menteri,manalah tahu kok kok boleh dapat Tan Sri...hasil dari"Kecekapan" beliau menjalankan tugas. Beliau tidak sangka hal ini telah menjadi isu. Oleh sebab itu orang tua-tua kata "jangan main api, nanti bakar diri!"
Sebenarnya orang politik bukan semuanya jahat.Orang yang nak join politik mestilah orang yang berpersonaliti jenis sosial dan suka menolong.Orang yang betul-betul berwibawa, membela rakyat, membantu menyelesaikan segala masalah dengan tidak kira masa atau wang ringgit. Tetapi oleh kerana wujudnya isu-isu seperti isu lembu tadi, orang-orang ini telah menjadi mangsa. Mereka dihukum oleh rakyat sama dengan hero "lembu" tadi.

Why Kids nowaday got no sense of responsiblity?

It was The School Sports Day. I had selected the house representatives to run in the selected events. The sports was going to start soon but those 'bunch' not yet visible anywhere in the school compound. At last I couldn't wait any more, I had to sent the reserves instead. I called up those fellows and 'screw' them, this was the answer, " I couldn't wake up...Last night game till very late" I think I need to used the worst BAD words to curse those fellows! By the way, I don't think their parents knew that their kids was selected to represent the house in the sports events. THEY just didn't talked about this matter. Those days our parents were equally excited when we were selected as representatives. We felt honoured to be a representative. If we needed a costume, our parents would take all the troubles to make one for us. The parents in fact ,were involve too, there was an event for "IBUBAPA". But what a tragic scene I saw today at the Grand Stand.Beside the Principle and the VIP from the Education Department, There were handful of parents with the empty chairs, 99% were Malays and none Chinese.This is not a racist matter but when the Chinese kids go to secondary school, this is exactly is happening. The Chinese parents are FOREVER BUSY!!! As though nobody else except them, are working, even on Sundays.They not only not supporting what ever programmes organised by school, if possible, avoid it! What they don't understand is that the "Couldn't be bordered" attitude they are showing to their kids have cultivated the 'IRRESPONSIBLE" attitude in their children, which later would become worsen till they premature left school before graduated. Why? They couldn't be bordered even their own future. No need the quota system to kick our Chinese kids outside the university doors, its their own attitude! The 'couldn't be bordered' attitude that cause them to lose all the opportunities; until one day they realise 'THE IMPORTANCE OF EDUCATION' OH, NOT THEIR FAULTS, ITS THE GOVT THAT BIAS.............

Live a Life for Today

Sometimes I felt very sad listening to the old songs or passing through places I once been. The old memories came back but the people in the memories were no longer there. I just lost my childhood best friend of cancer who lived so near yet lost contact for years. I was too busy to make contacts until her family found me because it was her last wish to meet me again. She held my hands and tears rolling down, unable to speak. Just 3 week later she passed away. Most people never prepared to die until death comes. This is how most people live, chasing after tomorrow and never enjoy whats we are today. When we were in school, we wished we graduated quickly and get a job.When we were working, we look forward to our retirement day. When we retired, our life almost gone and we are near to grave. We never enjoy a day so call TODAY. We always tell our children to think of FUTURE. And future is infinite. We are BUSY all the times. We never stop by to just look at things around us; such as flowers blooming, birds singing, or listen to the insects chipping. BUSY is a deathly disease that strikes most of us today. 50 years past by so quickly, when I look back, I just couldn't remember a day when I was idle. My son gave me this idea when I asked him one day; 'What are you doing son?' he said," Idle...'Now I am looking forward to the day I would be idle. I had signed up for op 58, so have to add another 3 years to the day, IDLE. Let hope I won't die before this day....

Dreams

I had an interesting discussion with my son Hui about dreams. We found that some of the dreams are similar between us. I listed the dream event like below:

1.The dream is about we felt angry over someone, our hands reach out to punch that person but some how the punch cannot reach him, the fist goes slow and soft.

Interpretation: May be we were angry over somebody during day time but we couldn't express our self. Thus we kept that feeling of anger to ours elf.

2.Dream about going to school or somewhere, but there always obstacles such as the bus already left, or on the way we found our self NAKED. Somehow we couldn't reach that place.

Interpretation: Unfinished business. We may be worry over some project or work meeting date lines but not yet done.

3.This dream is very special and both of us dreamt the same thing. The dream is about a night when we look up the sky ,we found that there were so many things and event up there, such as space ships, people driving cars, aeroplanes, and many more things, in fact the sky is full of activities.

Interpretation: We had a good day, feeling happy or satisfied during day time.

4.Dream soak in the water, feeling very cold.I used to dream about swimming in the sea or river, somehow just cannot get out of it.

Interpretation: May be your room air con is too cold. Or you blanket goes off.

5. Dream about going to 'pee' but somehow the toilet door is opened or the toilet has no wall.

Interpretation: WELL YOU REALLY HAVE THAT FULL NEST FUELLING. better GO TO PEE BEFORE YOU PASS IT ON THE BED!

3. This dream is very special

Between Medicines and Supplements

This is a case about a client who delayed treatment, her sickness is getting worse and now waiting at the dying bed. Many people who believes in the Direct Sales business sometime stand a risk of the similar event. This girl was an active 'A'Direct sales dealer. When initially she felt a lump in her breast, she already suspected cancer. But she had no fear because she strongly believed that the 'A' product got all kinds of supplements which is better than western medicine because western medicine got lots of side effects.So what she did was to prescribe her own medicine, mixing all kind of vitamin pills and etc taking everyday instead of seeing a doctor. 'Don't Listen To Doctors 'the tittle of the book is some sort like that I came across in the 'A' business campaign which she proudly showed to me when she is still well. Here I don't mean to condamn about the Direct Sales business but the belief system of the people who does the direct sales business.
Firstly, these DS business employed professional motivators who can talk so well that the members would believe in the myth of the products. Most DS who has food supplement claim that their product could 'prevent' or even 'cure' the deadly disease CANCER.The story line is almost similar: Somebody already verdicts NO CURE by the doctor, after taking the products, got cured. So many ignorant people who believe in the story and join membership and pass on the myth to other people. Sometime the unlucky one who strikes in the business may strikes the deadly disease such as CANCER. This would challenge their belief system and is a time to PROVE what they believe is true. The faith in the products might go stronger because their up line friends would come to encourage them to believe in the products. So the treatment would be delayed.
Many people still cannot differentiate between Medicine and supplement. What doctors usually do during seeing a patient is giving treatment, and one of the treatment is giving medicine. Medicine is a kind of drug which contain active ingredients which can kill certain germs, bacteria or virus.Some medicine treat the symptoms such as pain killer etc. Doctors did more than giving medicine as in some cases need to do operations, transplant, chemotherapy etc. In the process of treatment doctors need to undergo investigations and observations in order to be sure of the right treatment for the disease. Though doctors also give vitamins and other supplements in between the treatments but that is only to support the treatments, and doctors know the amount to give when to give, the body mass against the dosage. Doctors had been through in the university for 5 years at least, how can he know less than an aunty who not even pass form 5, in the cases of treatment for diseases? Should you believe in the DS propaganda who is not responsible if anything goes wrong with you for taking their products?
The supplements are vital vitamins, minerals or protein which can also be found in the food we take everyday, Too much of it is a waste because the body only keep what is needed . Over dosages in the case of vitamin A can be toxic.DS company are very fond of making foul claims . They may rely on one or two cases that not really true. As in the case of my friend who suffered gout for a long time. He had been taking the medicine from the hospital routinely until he met this DS personal who claimed his product can cure his sickness. True enough after he took the product, the pain subsided. I told him the DS product might contain hidden active ingredients such steroids which also can relieve any kind of pain but overdose could be harmful. True enough after sometimes, the report about the steroid contain reveal in the newspaper. The product was forbidden.
Medicine shouldn't be taken without doctors prescription! Cause one man medicine could be another man's poison. Most products that can relief pain immediately are sure enough to contain steroid. Steroid are cheap thing but can do wonders. Not all DS company are genuine. They may not claim what is the active ingredient in the product. What they are interested in is to draw your money out from your pocket. The price you pay for the DS product is not cheap, usually is triple the price we pay outside. For example vitamin C, I paid about RM 20.00 for 100 tablets from the pharmacist whereas the DS sold me RM 75.00 for the same amount. They claim their is better. Well Vitamin C is vitamin C , how can one could be better than the other? So don't get cheated by DS company. if you are sick, see doctor immediately. Back to my client,if she get the treatment earlier, she might be able to live longer.