Teacher and Student

A boy was in the process to be expelled from school for several discipline problems. He is in form 2and only 14. What mistakes could a boy of 14 done to deserve this punishment? I summon the boy to my office. He had list of bad records, beside "ponteng" class, fighting and smoking, he also broke the school fence with the other fellows to escape from the extra mural activities.As usual, in school we have RULES and Regulations that purposely set to be obeyed by the students. Or other wise these students never learn to be discipline.
"Why you did all these? " I asked him. This is what he told me, " No use to be good,nobody ever appreciate me, even if I changed." "What make you think so? What is the prove?" He said, " I tried to be good but the teacher never even looked at me. She never called my name, never asked me a question or told me to do something. So whats the purpose of staying in the class? " You mean all the teachers did that to you?", " No only Cikgu Zu. " " Well do you think this is a good excuse to give up your future?" He frowned, "No.." "There must be a reason why the teacher ignored you, do you think so?" "I never paid attention while she was teaching.."
This is my comments about the whole matter. To be a teacher, you must have a big heart, heart of a mother. Sometimes we failed to identify the course of evils. If the students are all good, well behave, obedience, then teachers no need to go for training, no need to learn the methodology, adolescent psycology etc. Why we need to qualify to be a teacher? Because we are expecting our clients are "problematic" in the process of growing. Yet we forget about all these. we only punished them.

Why Kids nowaday got no sense of responsiblity?

It was The School Sports Day. I had selected the house representatives to run in the selected events. The sports was going to start soon but those 'bunch' not yet visible anywhere in the school compound. At last I couldn't wait any more, I had to sent the reserves instead. I called up those fellows and 'screw' them, this was the answer, " I couldn't wake up...Last night game till very late" I think I need to used the worst BAD words to curse those fellows! By the way, I don't think their parents knew that their kids was selected to represent the house in the sports events. THEY just didn't talked about this matter. Those days our parents were equally excited when we were selected as representatives. We felt honoured to be a representative. If we needed a costume, our parents would take all the troubles to make one for us. The parents in fact ,were involve too, there was an event for "IBUBAPA". But what a tragic scene I saw today at the Grand Stand.Beside the Principle and the VIP from the Education Department, There were handful of parents with the empty chairs, 99% were Malays and none Chinese.This is not a racist matter but when the Chinese kids go to secondary school, this is exactly is happening. The Chinese parents are FOREVER BUSY!!! As though nobody else except them, are working, even on Sundays.They not only not supporting what ever programmes organised by school, if possible, avoid it! What they don't understand is that the "Couldn't be bordered" attitude they are showing to their kids have cultivated the 'IRRESPONSIBLE" attitude in their children, which later would become worsen till they premature left school before graduated. Why? They couldn't be bordered even their own future. No need the quota system to kick our Chinese kids outside the university doors, its their own attitude! The 'couldn't be bordered' attitude that cause them to lose all the opportunities; until one day they realise 'THE IMPORTANCE OF EDUCATION' OH, NOT THEIR FAULTS, ITS THE GOVT THAT BIAS.............

Laziness is the deadly disease of the youngsters

Lately I had been invited to give talks to many secondary schools. That also include some of the primary schools , especially the Chinese schools.I used to be careful in arranging my materials about how our Chinese students doing in secondary schools, in order not to be too offensive, I'll hid some of the truth and just speak what favourable to hear to our Chinese community . Is it wrong to speak the truth? I always asked myself, and this time I decide to speak the truth. The result is I didn't feel good about it after seeing how people react cause the truth is too painful to bear, especially by the race who always think superior about themselves.
There are two categories in secondary school about our Chinese students. Either they are the top cream of 10% or the worst lots of 30% and the middle are mostly the Malays. Today I am not going to talk about the good one. They are always well taken cared of. God bless them. But the worst lot really worry us, they are our future generations who suppose to lead and take our place after we left.
Laziness is the deadly disease that wide spread among the youngsters nowadays. Why? Everybody want to know WHY, the parents too, could not understand their young. In class, they'll be sleeping most of the time when the teachers start teaching. Or other wise they would sneak out and rather roaming around the school than sitting in the class listening to the 'boring' lessons(as they term it). I wish I could be convinced that the teachers were really boring, but to my disappointment, they dislike almost all the teachers and all the subjects,that include Chinese Language.They are also the law breakers. Keeping long and shabby hair style, with shirt loose unbutton, all year long no badges or name tags ,talking louder than other people, cracking dirty jokes and expert in 3 little bad words. The Malay teachers had been tolerated them, just not to scold or better use the word cursed them in front of us (the Chinese teachers) in order not to insult us.The common excuse they gave was that 'THEY COULD NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THE TEACHERS ARE TEACHING,' or otherwise they said ' THE MALAY TEACHERS ARE UNFAIR TOWARDS THEM' ... but both excuses had strongly convinced their parents that the school is at fault for their children laziness! And we usually get the feedback from their parents that they supported their children to stop school even at the age of 15(Form 2). 'BETTER GO TO WORK'. This is their final destination. They wanted to work badly to earn money to support their handsets, that's the hidden reason every teachers know! I used to trace back my students who left school for this similar matter to find out if whether they are doing well, but to my surprise most of them regretted and wish to come back to school. Why? Its because working life is not really fun either for THE LAZY people.

The boy who sleeps in class

Zhu Guan slept most of the time in the classroom. It's headache for most teachers who enter that class. All his classmates dare not disturb him because he would beat anyone who waked him up. Yesterday he strangled a boy for disturbing his sleep. The only time he woke up is the recess time. I took up this case and had been attending to him for few sessions . At last I decided to call his father. I had been calling him for the pass one week and I couldn't get him anyway. Last Friday, as I was packing to go home, his father showed up. I was surprise to see a young man of late 20's . This is a story I would like to share. ,
"I was married at the age 17 and my wife 15. I meant to have fun but never expected she got pregnant. I had to stop schooling and was forced to marry her. But the marriage didn't last, we divorced after the child was borned. My son was raised by his grandparents."
I told him about his son's problems. "He seem to watch video CD every night till morning. He also plays video game at cyber cafe till late night. "
"It's all his mother's mistake, she should have given this child to me. " "Are you sure you could look after him better than his mother?" "But I am busy too..." Asking about his occupation, this is what he told me, " I am running a business in cyber cafe, I also a finance collector(one who collects debt in Tai Yi Long business). He saw my fishy smiles and felt pressured," Actually I regretted my life. I didn't complete my secondary education. After I left school than only I realise knowledge is important. I couldn't find a better job that gives me lots of money. And I believe money is the most important thing in this world. . I plan to 'buy' a wife from Cambodia or Thailand. Only with money, we can satisfy the women. " His ideology reflex his irrational thinking which may influence the upbringing of his child. Now I can understand why Zhu Guan behave that way. "Everybody make mistakes right? " Most parents have very soft hearts for their children, but school have rules and regulations which the students must learn to abide . As for Zhu Guan, the father must be strict with him.
1.Make sure he doesn't stay late at night. He must sleeps at night and awakes in the day.
2.The father has to pay serious attention to his progress in education.
3.Most important thing I suggest, his father should practise good values so that the boy could grow up in a favourable environment. The father is the role model.
Zhu Guan is just one of the victim from a broken home. His grand parents though loved him very much but still couldn't replace the role of a parent.
There are mistakes you can make and be forgiven but there are mistakes once committed, there's no turning back, this is what I always tell the students. I hope they learn from this story.

True love or not true love?

Many girls of 15 like to ask me what is true love mean? They were so 'in love' with the guys they met, so dramatic, so beautiful. I never condemn their feelings, at this point I understand how they feel. Girls at puberty start to experience changes in their feelings, and they will undergo this kind of feelings if they are normal. But most girls are shy to show out, they will secretly admire some guys. I did come across some girls who are a bit extreme in their emotion which might end up with greater problems. Su Lin(nick name) was 15 when she was caught kissing with a boy of her age behind the stair case after school. She was sent to see me for counseling sessions. "Teacher, what is true love? " Well this is what I always tell them,"True love means when a boy or a girl meet, there's a kind of affectionate feeling towards each other, wanting to live together for ever..." And they'll laugh and said," Oh that's old fashion teacher! We only want to have fun, never think of ever after kind of things..." Well I am afraid, this is the trend today that make most parents worry . True love, very hard to explain true love when of course I don't think their love is true. The kind of feeling they undergo is affection.Its the chemistry changes in their body that cause the thing. True love takes more than just have fun. "You must be matured enough to understand your feelings toward someone. To get married, you must be economically stable... and true love, the feelings never die ever after..."

There are stages in live where everyone of us must undergo. At different stage, we have a duty to perform. When during childhood, we learn the basic survival skills and the basic education. When we proceed to adolescent, during secondary school, we have to gather as much knowledge as possible to enable us to meet with challenges during adulthood. But, alas! This is the worst time of all where problems come; conflicting with parents, in love problems, peers problems etc..and all these problems have distracted your concentration towards your actual task as a teenager. What is your actual important task now as a teenager? To study! Doing the best for your future.

To fall in love at this time is a waste of time. At the end, its lose-lose situation. As time pass by you'll find that this kind of feeling is not true love. Wait until you are matured enough to understand what love means. Time will come, for true love, don't worry!

Just talk to your parents

Teenagers find its difficult to talk to their parents. Most likely they will end up conflicting and arguing because they couldn't understand each other. That why many parents complaint about communications problem with their teens. " They lock themselves in the room, I don't know what they do inside." " They're not telling me anything what's happening in school..." On the other hand the teenagers claim that there are aliens living in their parents body. " My mum and dad can never understand me, I can't talk to them." Parents nowadays have been tolerating a lot upon their teens. But as a teenager you have to take responsiblity too to communicate with your parents. It's important because you have nothing to lose, in fact you'll gain !
First, you must seek to understand your parent by just listening to them. Of course many of you would think I am bias to say so. Why we cannot communicate with parents mainly due to our weakness in listening skill . We have no patience to listen. We avoid putting ourselves in their shoes. We always think our parents are super people who never get hurt, never frustrated, never give up no matter what nonsense we do. But we are wrong! Parents are human too. They do make mistakes, got bad times in their office, got worries, upset or sometimes giving up hope. You have your role to play. Your dad or mum want to talk to you and you can just listen. May be they need someone to talk to. They need someone dear like you to share their feelings. You can start the conversation by asking" So how's your day today mum/dad?" Listen genuinely, have eyes contact and show your interest. Sometimes your parents give you advices, which I know most teenagers dislike. Some parents have poor skill of giving advices because it finally turn out to be boring nagging! Nag, nag, nag... and the teens avoid you whenever you open your mouth. If your mum and dad want to give advices(though you hate it) just listen, think about the good points in their advices. Always remember that they love you. Its all for your own good!
Just listen is a win-lose situation. My second point is to give respond or feedback. Some teenagers just keep their mouths shut though they disagree with their parents . "No point talking to them, they wouldn't understand! Silent is golden." But I strongly disagree to this. You must respond, of course in a positive way. To respond doesn't mean argument. You may have your rational , just speak up your feelings in a harmony tone. Once I stop my son playing computer games which I think is destructive to brain especially when playing for hours non stop. This was what he said," Mum, I have no friends and no other hobbies, games is something I can enjoy and relax my mind. This is a game of my age, I may not be playing games anymore when I am 40. But I promise you to do my best in my study, otherwise you can delete all my games." A compromise was made. So I gave in on the term that he mustn't slack in his study. Sometimes you need to seek for approval over somethings may be your parents disagree; well speak up and give good reasons. But not everything must turn out favourable on your side. There are things your parents have to turn you down for some reasons you must accept . Parents are people who have experience and knowledge more than you(eat more salt), the fact is most of the time they are right. So just accept. By giving feedback or respond you could make yourself understood. Communication need to take both sides. Nobody could understand if you just keep quiet and avoid talking to your parent.
To conclude, you have nothing to lose if you can communicate with your parent well. You might gain more respect, trust and favour. Just fly into their shoes and think what should you do if you are them.

The Hungry Brain

Many secondary school students go to school without breakfast. They woke up just enough time to rush for buses which started to pick them at 6.30am. Upon arriving the school, they are just on time to start lessons. Some school started as early as 7.15am. The students were so used to this situation and had form a habit of not taking breakfast. When asked during my survey," I am not used to eating in the morning, I couldn't eat. " But the phenomena shown that most students without breakfast became worn out easily in the class. They are tired and sleepy. They couldn't pay attention to the teacher's teaching. At 10.00am, they are already craving to go out. Some would just walk out and loitering around the school, creating disciplinary problems. Though boredom may due to many factors but we couldn't deny that one of it may due to hunger. At the long run, the brain without nutrient may run out of energy, which directly affect their concentrations. Our Malaysian students are less lucky to enjoy good canteens whereby food are varieties and surplus. Most food sold to students are monotonous and less nutritious. I had seen a school canteen selling only 'nasi lemak' for the last six years. Some students dislike spicy food would even skip eating during recess unless their parents prepare lunch box for them. The worst time comes around 1.00pm to 2.00pm for those starving lots, they would be out of control because they wanted to go home as quickly as possible. That why they sneak out from classes or sneak out from school. The school at all ages trying to tackle discipline problems but if we fail to seek the cause, we are going to fail.

Poverty

Nirmala was absent from school several times. I decided to pay her a visit to find out her problems. This was what I saw as I open the pot, its only chili water to drink for her lunch. She had not eaten rice for the last two days. There's no more rice left. Her mother left her and ran away with another man since she was four. Her father, a drug addict, seldom home. The father had sold off most of the things at home for money. The house was empty. Nirmala, though not excellent in academic but she was a good student. "I always hungry teacher." She lives with her grandmother who is 65 years old, still working as a sweeper for RM15 a day. But most of the time she was sick at home. This kind of agony is common among our poor students in Malaysia. Poverty is the main reason why they are not excellent in school. They are the neglected group. I tried to reach for aids from varies organizations. Now Nirmala is still schooling , not giving up though the life is tough for her. "Through education, you can change your fate," I always tell her.