Refrence article from google
Marital problems don’t always lead to divorce. At times they may cause you to feel like you want to run screaming toward the courthouse but, that doesn’t have to be the situation. I know you’ve heard this before but, I’m going to say it again anyway…marriage is work, a lot of work. The stress and strain of every day life can distract us at times and cause us to lose focus on the work that needs to be done in the marriage. That same stress can invade a marriage, exacerbate, and magnify any marital problems and issues in the marriage.
Most marital problems are typical. In other words if you are married, you will, at some point be faced with pretty much the same issues that most married people face. There is no true way to gauge whether the problems in your marriage are insurmountable. Your commitment to the marriage and your spouse determines how much you are willing to put up with and how hard you are willing to work on the marriage. If you are thinking about divorce or feeling like taking a jog down to the courthouse, ask yourself some of the follow questions.
· Are you to the point that your spouse just can’t do anything right, does everything they do get under your skin?
· Does everything lead to an argument?
· Are you tired of the fighting, so tired you can’t muster of the energy to even engage anymore?
· Has the love you felt been replaced by resentment?
· Would you rather be anywhere than with your spouse?
· When you and your spouse are together do you find you have nothing to talk about or that you have little interest in talking to him/her?
· Does the idea of sex with your spouse cause you to shudder?
· Are you having an affair or thinking about having an affair?
· You find yourself doing the opposite of what your spouse needs from you just to spite him/her?
· Are thoughts of divorce running through your mind on a regular basis?
Don’t worry, just because you answered yes to most of the questions doesn’t necessarily mean you are headed for divorce. It does mean, however that your marriage is in trouble and that it is time to evaluate your feelings as far as your commitment to the marriage. Steps need to be taken to either fix the problems in the marriage or to get the ball rolling and the divorce process started. Staying stuck in an unhappy marriage should not be an option for you or your spouse. Get to work finding a solution for the problems or you will end up in divorce court.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
SUICIDE
Refrence article from google search.
Suicide is defined as the act of deliberately taking one's own life. It occurs most often in response to a crisis such as a death or the loss of a relationship or job. During a crisis people experience a wide range of feelings, and each person's response to crisis is different. It is normal to feel frightened or anxious or depressed. If a person feels overwhelmed or unable to cope, he or she may try to commit suicide.
Almost all people who kill themselves either suffered from depression or had substance abuse problems. People who are lonely and isolated or who have histories of previous suicide attempts are also at greater risk for attempting suicide.
Men are more than four times as likely as women to die by suicide, yet women are more likely to make a nonlethal suicide attempt.
Suicide is a major public health problem. Each year, firearms are used as many times for suicide as they are for murder. In some other countries, 71 percent of all firearm deaths are suicide.
Attempted and completed suicides result in enormous social, economic, and medical costs. Suicide is very disruptive to the quality of life of survivors and their families and friends.
Public health professionals have a major role to play in addressing the problem of suicide. Public health programs and policies can play a part before, during, and after completed or attempted suicides. First, public health programs are an important aspect of the prevention of suicide. Education campaigns can be used to increase knowledge and to change people's attitudes, beliefs, and values about suicide, and about people who may have attempted suicide. People may have distorted ideas about suicidal persons. For example, it is a myth that people who commit suicide never talk about it first. Most people provide important warning signs that can help to reduce the risk of suicide.
Health education can be combined with counseling or support programs. These programs can be provided by trained public health professionals or by peer counselors. For example, teenagers can be trained to provide counseling and support for other teens. Suicide awareness or prevention programs can be delivered in a variety of settings such as schools, churches, or in the community as a whole. They can also be delivered in psychiatric settings.
A second aspect of the prevention of suicide lies in judging or assessing a person's risk for suicide. Public health professionals such as nurses or doctors can help to prevent completed suicides by identifying people who may be thinking about or planning to try to commit suicide. They can also provide support through crisis or suicide-prevention counseling.
Public health can also play a valuable role during a suicide attempt. A suicide attempt is often a person's response to a crisis, or to a time when they feel overwhelmed or hopeless. Public health professionals can help during a suicide attempt through suicide-prevention counseling. This type of short-term counseling involves providing support and guidance to an individual who is suicidal. Its purpose is to decrease the person's emotional pain, to make sure that the person is safe, and to help develop a plan for coping. Sometimes suicide-prevention counseling includes connecting a person to community or health services. These services can then provide longer-term support.
Suicide prevention counseling is a valuable tool for public health. It is relatively low-cost, flexible, and simple to provide. A wide variety of health professionals, including doctors, nurses, psychologists, and social workers, can be taught to help people with suicide-prevention counseling techniques. These services can be provided in a wide variety of places or settings, including hospitals, community clinics, and telephone-based crisis centers or helplines. Suicide-prevention services provide an important link between the community and the formal health care system.
Public health professionals who work in suicide prevention and counseling are faced with a growing variety of issues and clients. Most communities are home to an increased number of people from a wide variety of cultural and ethnic backgrounds. There are also more older people in society. New issues that might trigger a suicide attempt include elder abuse, racism or discrimination, bullying, or gay bashing. Police officers, firemen, paramedics, and others are being trained to deliver on-the-spot suicide prevention counseling.
There is also a role for public health following a completed or attempted suicide. A suicide attempt or death can have a traumatic effect on the quality of life of survivors and their families and friends. Public health programs can provide important support services to survivors of a suicide attempt and their families.
Public health is only one important part of society's response to suicide as a health and social problem. There is also a role for law enforcement, the education system, the government, and the formal health care system in prevention, treatment, and follow-up to a suicide attempt.
Law enforcement (police officers) and public health professionals can cooperate to help suicidal persons. Police officers are often the first ones on the scene of a suicide attempt. They may act to prevent a suicidal person from hurting themselves (or someone else) through suicide prevention counseling. The may detain someone who is at high risk for suicide and refer him or her to appropriate public health resources.
The educational and health care systems also have a role to play in the prevention, treatment, and follow-up to a suicide attempt. Schools provide access to most young people and provide a place for delivering suicide prevention or awareness programs. They can also teach young people to recognize the warning signs of a potential suicide attempt in their friends, to provide peer counseling, and how to get immediate help and support. This is important because young people are at higher risk of attempting suicide than most adults.
The formal health care system (hospitals, clinics, doctor's offices) can play an important role in two main ways. First, people who are suicidal may come to an emergency room or a physician's office. In these cases, the health system serves as a "first-response" and crisis service. Second, once a person has been identified by a public health or law enforcement professional as suicidal, they may need to be hospitalized for a period of time. Health professionals can provide medications and further counseling or support to a suicidal person and their family.
Once a suicidal person is released from a hospital, public health professionals may make home visits or provide follow-up support through a community-based clinic. The prevention of suicide and the provision of support to people who are suicidal play an important and increasing role in the health of individuals, families, and communities.
Suicide is defined as the act of deliberately taking one's own life. It occurs most often in response to a crisis such as a death or the loss of a relationship or job. During a crisis people experience a wide range of feelings, and each person's response to crisis is different. It is normal to feel frightened or anxious or depressed. If a person feels overwhelmed or unable to cope, he or she may try to commit suicide.
Almost all people who kill themselves either suffered from depression or had substance abuse problems. People who are lonely and isolated or who have histories of previous suicide attempts are also at greater risk for attempting suicide.
Men are more than four times as likely as women to die by suicide, yet women are more likely to make a nonlethal suicide attempt.
Suicide is a major public health problem. Each year, firearms are used as many times for suicide as they are for murder. In some other countries, 71 percent of all firearm deaths are suicide.
Attempted and completed suicides result in enormous social, economic, and medical costs. Suicide is very disruptive to the quality of life of survivors and their families and friends.
Public health professionals have a major role to play in addressing the problem of suicide. Public health programs and policies can play a part before, during, and after completed or attempted suicides. First, public health programs are an important aspect of the prevention of suicide. Education campaigns can be used to increase knowledge and to change people's attitudes, beliefs, and values about suicide, and about people who may have attempted suicide. People may have distorted ideas about suicidal persons. For example, it is a myth that people who commit suicide never talk about it first. Most people provide important warning signs that can help to reduce the risk of suicide.
Health education can be combined with counseling or support programs. These programs can be provided by trained public health professionals or by peer counselors. For example, teenagers can be trained to provide counseling and support for other teens. Suicide awareness or prevention programs can be delivered in a variety of settings such as schools, churches, or in the community as a whole. They can also be delivered in psychiatric settings.
A second aspect of the prevention of suicide lies in judging or assessing a person's risk for suicide. Public health professionals such as nurses or doctors can help to prevent completed suicides by identifying people who may be thinking about or planning to try to commit suicide. They can also provide support through crisis or suicide-prevention counseling.
Public health can also play a valuable role during a suicide attempt. A suicide attempt is often a person's response to a crisis, or to a time when they feel overwhelmed or hopeless. Public health professionals can help during a suicide attempt through suicide-prevention counseling. This type of short-term counseling involves providing support and guidance to an individual who is suicidal. Its purpose is to decrease the person's emotional pain, to make sure that the person is safe, and to help develop a plan for coping. Sometimes suicide-prevention counseling includes connecting a person to community or health services. These services can then provide longer-term support.
Suicide prevention counseling is a valuable tool for public health. It is relatively low-cost, flexible, and simple to provide. A wide variety of health professionals, including doctors, nurses, psychologists, and social workers, can be taught to help people with suicide-prevention counseling techniques. These services can be provided in a wide variety of places or settings, including hospitals, community clinics, and telephone-based crisis centers or helplines. Suicide-prevention services provide an important link between the community and the formal health care system.
Public health professionals who work in suicide prevention and counseling are faced with a growing variety of issues and clients. Most communities are home to an increased number of people from a wide variety of cultural and ethnic backgrounds. There are also more older people in society. New issues that might trigger a suicide attempt include elder abuse, racism or discrimination, bullying, or gay bashing. Police officers, firemen, paramedics, and others are being trained to deliver on-the-spot suicide prevention counseling.
There is also a role for public health following a completed or attempted suicide. A suicide attempt or death can have a traumatic effect on the quality of life of survivors and their families and friends. Public health programs can provide important support services to survivors of a suicide attempt and their families.
Public health is only one important part of society's response to suicide as a health and social problem. There is also a role for law enforcement, the education system, the government, and the formal health care system in prevention, treatment, and follow-up to a suicide attempt.
Law enforcement (police officers) and public health professionals can cooperate to help suicidal persons. Police officers are often the first ones on the scene of a suicide attempt. They may act to prevent a suicidal person from hurting themselves (or someone else) through suicide prevention counseling. The may detain someone who is at high risk for suicide and refer him or her to appropriate public health resources.
The educational and health care systems also have a role to play in the prevention, treatment, and follow-up to a suicide attempt. Schools provide access to most young people and provide a place for delivering suicide prevention or awareness programs. They can also teach young people to recognize the warning signs of a potential suicide attempt in their friends, to provide peer counseling, and how to get immediate help and support. This is important because young people are at higher risk of attempting suicide than most adults.
The formal health care system (hospitals, clinics, doctor's offices) can play an important role in two main ways. First, people who are suicidal may come to an emergency room or a physician's office. In these cases, the health system serves as a "first-response" and crisis service. Second, once a person has been identified by a public health or law enforcement professional as suicidal, they may need to be hospitalized for a period of time. Health professionals can provide medications and further counseling or support to a suicidal person and their family.
Once a suicidal person is released from a hospital, public health professionals may make home visits or provide follow-up support through a community-based clinic. The prevention of suicide and the provision of support to people who are suicidal play an important and increasing role in the health of individuals, families, and communities.
Values counseling
Our Values Statement
Influence follows close upon the heels of character -- Caroline Dall
Counseling With Values. What A Difference!
Theravive is the only professional therapist directory that promotes strong moral values as a foundation for counseling and therapy. In short, we believe in saving marriages, in restoring relationships, in individual dignity and the equal value of all people, in marriage & family, in the value of mothers and fathers in the lives of children, in forgiveness, in healing people so that they no longer need counseling (and sometimes even medication), and in safe, non-judgmental therapy.
Values counseling allows you to know the heart of your counselor. By knowing this in advance, you will have a greater understanding of your counselor's focus, goals, and counselling path. You gain a deeper, more objective insight into where you have been and the new direction that will bring you healing, restoration, and joy. Simply put, having a therapist who shares your values means better and more effective therapy. Values promote healthy living and relationships, helping us to get our lives on the right track. Values are the light posts that point the way to a better place, illuminating to us hope and purpose in our lives that we may not have seen before. They not only protect us, but also guide us.
A Broken World
All of us live in an imperfect world, and we all contribute, in various degrees, to its imperfections. In a way, most of us already acknowledge that the world is a noble yet dangerous place; full of wonder and beauty, but also of indifference and malice. For example, parents will try to protect their children in some fashion from the "real world." Children are innocent, and the real world is a place where innocence can be lost. In essence, most of us acknowledge that this world is lacking and falls short of something greater- something it could be, but that it isn't. Values counseling points towards a higher standard, while relative or "non-values" counselling looks only at the subjective.
Values Based Counselors point the way in a unified direction to something greater
When values are arbitrary, a unified direction does not exist, and confusion results.
The Need for Values Based Counselors
When people see a counselor, they may be coming for something as simple as help with befriending a co-worker, or they may be on their final hope of a collapsing life, having utilized every ounce of remaining strength just to walk through the door. It is so important that the counselor be well grounded in solid moral values and principles, because all these people having such a wide scope of issues are all seeking the same thing: a better way.
The Reason Why Theravive Exists
Imagine a man who's life is collapsing, his wife no longer loves him due to years of emotional neglect and she intends to leave him. He loves her more than anything in the world and cannot bear the thought of losing his wife. Where did he go so wrong? How can he fix this? This just can't be happening! -(sadly, he has no clue how his years of ignoring her emotional needs has caused her love to die). He manages to convince her to see a counselor for help. She is reluctant but figures she will go, she at least owes him that. Can you see how important it is that this man find the right counselor? He gets one shot...just one shot at finding a counselor who can peel off the layers that, over the years, have become hardened scaled armour, and bring hope for this dying marriage. What if the counselor he chose viewed marriage as merely a "contract" between two people? What if he wound up in front of a counselor who believed that cohabitation is just as good as having the "piece of paper" of marriage, or a therapist who was so morally neutral, that anything and everything was "right" simply if the client felt it was right? Can you see how important the values of the counselor are to a situation like this? He could open a phone book and randomly select any therapist, but how wise is it to take your future, and stake it on the roll of dice? There are a lot of licensed therapists out there, and not all of them have the same beliefs about marriage. This man desperately needs a counselor who is well grounded, and believes in marriage.
Values based counselling means that the counselor is always pointing to a better way, meeting the client where he or she is at, and guiding that person towards a higher place: a place of deeper truth, a place of greater meaning. Non-values oriented counseling will simply seek to return the client to a functional level, or simply at a place that is "best for them." Well in the example above what was "best for the wife" was divorce. Yet she may not realize, or even see, that there could be door for her that leads her to a joyful life with her husband. While we believe that all people have the capacity within them to change, that does not mean they can always see all the choices before them. Sometimes people are so heavily oppressed by their situation that they genuinely cannot see a way out, or are unable to discern the best possible path. This is where the values of the counselor are critical to effective therapy.
Values are the whispers of our conscience that show us those things in our lives that need to change, they help us understand not only the problems in our lives, but why they were problems. Without values, we are unable to identify destructive behaviors and patterns of thoughts that cause pain and brokenness. Values allow us to learn from the past, let things go, and illuminate a new path towards a brighter future. And while we may never actually reach the ideal, it is instead the journey towards it that holds the joy of living; that we live a life always walking forward, towards a better place, one that is full of hope, experiencing true freedom and purpose every step of the way.
A Broken World
All of us live in an imperfect world, and we all contribute, in various degrees, to its imperfections. In a way, most of us already acknowledge that the world is a noble yet dangerous place; full of wonder and beauty, but also of indifference and malice. For example, parents will try to protect their children in some fashion from the "real world." Children are innocent, and the real world is a place where innocence can be lost. In essence, most of us acknowledge that this world is lacking and falls short of something greater- something it could be, but that it isn't. Values counseling points towards a higher standard, while relative or "non-values" counselling looks only at the subjective.
Values Based Counselors point the way in a unified direction to something greater
When values are arbitrary, a unified direction does not exist, and confusion results.
The Need for Values Based Counselors
When people see a counselor, they may be coming for something as simple as help with befriending a co-worker, or they may be on their final hope of a collapsing life, having utilized every ounce of remaining strength just to walk through the door. It is so important that the counselor be well grounded in solid moral values and principles, because all these people having such a wide scope of issues are all seeking the same thing: a better way.
The Reason Why Theravive Exists
Imagine a man who's life is collapsing, his wife no longer loves him due to years of emotional neglect and she intends to leave him. He loves her more than anything in the world and cannot bear the thought of losing his wife. Where did he go so wrong? How can he fix this? This just can't be happening! -(sadly, he has no clue how his years of ignoring her emotional needs has caused her love to die). He manages to convince her to see a counselor for help. She is reluctant but figures she will go, she at least owes him that. Can you see how important it is that this man find the right counselor? He gets one shot...just one shot at finding a counselor who can peel off the layers that, over the years, have become hardened scaled armour, and bring hope for this dying marriage. What if the counselor he chose viewed marriage as merely a "contract" between two people? What if he wound up in front of a counselor who believed that cohabitation is just as good as having the "piece of paper" of marriage, or a therapist who was so morally neutral, that anything and everything was "right" simply if the client felt it was right? Can you see how important the values of the counselor are to a situation like this? He could open a phone book and randomly select any therapist, but how wise is it to take your future, and stake it on the roll of dice? There are a lot of licensed therapists out there, and not all of them have the same beliefs about marriage. This man desperately needs a counselor who is well grounded, and believes in marriage.
Values based counselling means that the counselor is always pointing to a better way, meeting the client where he or she is at, and guiding that person towards a higher place: a place of deeper truth, a place of greater meaning. Non-values oriented counseling will simply seek to return the client to a functional level, or simply at a place that is "best for them." Well in the example above what was "best for the wife" was divorce. Yet she may not realize, or even see, that there could be door for her that leads her to a joyful life with her husband. While we believe that all people have the capacity within them to change, that does not mean they can always see all the choices before them. Sometimes people are so heavily oppressed by their situation that they genuinely cannot see a way out, or are unable to discern the best possible path. This is where the values of the counselor are critical to effective therapy.
Values are the whispers of our conscience that show us those things in our lives that need to change, they help us understand not only the problems in our lives, but why they were problems. Without values, we are unable to identify destructive behaviors and patterns of thoughts that cause pain and brokenness. Values allow us to learn from the past, let things go, and illuminate a new path towards a brighter future. And while we may never actually reach the ideal, it is instead the journey towards it that holds the joy of living; that we live a life always walking forward, towards a better place, one that is full of hope, experiencing true freedom and purpose every step of the way.
VALUE: We believe in saving marriages, and in the restoration of relationships.
Statement of Understanding: Theravive is pro-marriage. This means our first hope is to save your marriage, if possible. Marriages to us are far greater than merely a "contract" or "piece of paper." They are the foundation for a healthy family. In 'saving a marriage' we do not mean simply keeping two people physically together where one or both spouses are unhappy. Our goal is that both spouses have purpose, connection, value, and joy together. Yet we also understand that not all relationships can be saved (such as a spouse who is adamant in divorce, or when someone's safety is at risk, etc.). In the case where a relationship cannot be saved, our goal is to resolve the issues that have left the relationship broken and restore the individual.
VALUE: We believe in the sanctity and dignity of human life, that all people have meaning and purpose, and that no individual is without true value regardless of age, sex, race, choices made in life, or religion.We believe that each individual has purpose, meaning, and objective value. People are not born as merely empty vessels upon which a society or government grants rights and value to. Instead, simply by virtue of being a human being, you have inherent value, purpose, and meaning. The worth and unique value of a human being is objective. At Theravive, this means your counselor will treat you with dignity, respect, and with genuine concern for your well-being.
VALUE: We believe in the family and in raising children by their loving and married mothers and fathers (this isn't always possible, it is simply the best possible).
Statement of Understanding:
We believe the best (ideal) place to raise a child is in a loving marriage. What this means is we believe that in a perfect world, children are meant to be raised and loved by their parents as husband and wife. We do not consider expendable, a mother or a father. It is unfortunate to us that in today's world children are actually planned in advance to be born without a mother or father in their lives, as if mothers and fathers are optional in the planning of families. Mothers and fathers offer unique attributes in the development of a child that no one else can fully substitute. A fatherless or motherless child, or a child in a single parent or unmarried home, may still have a wonderful loving home, but it is not something we would wish upon them when they become parents. Most single parents, for example, never planned on being single parents. We want our children to model the best parts of us, and not our pain. Teaching our children the value of marriage and family gives them a solid direction in life, and a strong system of values that will guide their future, helping them to become loving parents, even breaking the cycle that may have left us alone.
If you have read this value and feel that you are not even close, be encouraged; no matter where you are in life, therapy can bring a new direction for you and your children. We accept all clients where they are in life, and it is never too late to start a new path. Every journey begins with a single step.
VALUE: We affirm the need and power of forgiveness, acknowledging that right and wrong exist.
Statement of Understanding:
We believe that fundamental right and wrong are not relative, but something that is commonly understood. For example, whether its "small" acts like cutting in line, or larger ones such as acts of harm, stealing, or deception, the same universal principles are known, regardless of culture. These are the basis for our conscience.
Forgiveness implies that someone was wronged. Whether you are giving forgiveness to someone who wronged you, or you need forgiveness for someone you have wronged, there is a recognition that something happened that should not have, or did not happen that should have. In order for forgiveness to occur there needs to be an acknowledgement of responsibility and of right and wrong, meaning that sometimes guilt is a healthy response to wrongdoing. Too often in society we look to pin responsibility on everyone else, with the notion that there is no such thing as "wrong". In the world of psychology, too often counselors just assume guilt is an unhealthy emotion that should be let-go. While we agree that there are certainly times when guilt can be harmful to growth (a battered wife who blames herself), we also acknowledge that guilt can be healthy, a sign that an individual has a conscience, and a call to action. It is much more tragic when someone can hurt others and feel no guilt.
When we hurt someone else or when someone hurts us, we need to forgive, not just those who hurt us, but ourselves as well. Forgiveness allows us to let go of the hurt, and be free from guilt. Forgiveness is very powerful and essential in any committed relationship, and important for our own selves. Sometimes forgiving our self is harder than forgiving anyone else.
PRINCIPLE: Naturopathic Philosophy
We believe in resolving the underlying problems that lead to depression, anxiety, and other emotional and physiological issues. While medication may be a necessary part of an individual’s process to wellness, where possible, we work to free the client from the problems that medication has been prescribed to address. This results in the client requiring less or no medication and not becoming dependant on counselling. To put simply, drugs are a last resort, not a first resort. Far too many times, drugs are rapidly prescribed as a quick way to treat a client when they are not always necessary. We do not want to resort to drugs as an easy way out of dealing with a problem, yet at the same time we acknowledge that drugs are an important component of mental health. At all times, we work with, not against, the professional medical care given to our clients.
PRINCIPLE: Guide Not a Judge
While our counselors share common values, our clients need not. A client may live a life of different values, and is still accepted and welcomed, as we have a "come as you are" approach. And even though we believe in right and wrong, it is not our place to be judgmental, dictate, or impose on a client. No matter what the values of a client are, a good counselor will accept that client, and be a listener first. A counselor can never "fix" a problem or change someone, only the client can do that. A counselor that spends more time talking in sessions than his or her clients is probably missing out on important opportunities to understand and lead the client into a path of discovery. While there are certainly times that it may be appropriate to spend a lot of time advising a client, a good counselor is first a listener before being a speaker. A good counselor establishes a safe, collaborative relationship with the client and it is within the safety of this container that effective therapy takes place. A good counselor will guide, rather than judge. A good counselor will listen, rather than lecture. It is always the client, not the therapist, who must make the decisions regarding their life. The grounded counselor shows the way and provides the tools; the client must then make the choice and walk the path.
Statement of Understanding: Theravive is pro-marriage. This means our first hope is to save your marriage, if possible. Marriages to us are far greater than merely a "contract" or "piece of paper." They are the foundation for a healthy family. In 'saving a marriage' we do not mean simply keeping two people physically together where one or both spouses are unhappy. Our goal is that both spouses have purpose, connection, value, and joy together. Yet we also understand that not all relationships can be saved (such as a spouse who is adamant in divorce, or when someone's safety is at risk, etc.). In the case where a relationship cannot be saved, our goal is to resolve the issues that have left the relationship broken and restore the individual.
VALUE: We believe in the sanctity and dignity of human life, that all people have meaning and purpose, and that no individual is without true value regardless of age, sex, race, choices made in life, or religion.We believe that each individual has purpose, meaning, and objective value. People are not born as merely empty vessels upon which a society or government grants rights and value to. Instead, simply by virtue of being a human being, you have inherent value, purpose, and meaning. The worth and unique value of a human being is objective. At Theravive, this means your counselor will treat you with dignity, respect, and with genuine concern for your well-being.
VALUE: We believe in the family and in raising children by their loving and married mothers and fathers (this isn't always possible, it is simply the best possible).
Statement of Understanding:
We believe the best (ideal) place to raise a child is in a loving marriage. What this means is we believe that in a perfect world, children are meant to be raised and loved by their parents as husband and wife. We do not consider expendable, a mother or a father. It is unfortunate to us that in today's world children are actually planned in advance to be born without a mother or father in their lives, as if mothers and fathers are optional in the planning of families. Mothers and fathers offer unique attributes in the development of a child that no one else can fully substitute. A fatherless or motherless child, or a child in a single parent or unmarried home, may still have a wonderful loving home, but it is not something we would wish upon them when they become parents. Most single parents, for example, never planned on being single parents. We want our children to model the best parts of us, and not our pain. Teaching our children the value of marriage and family gives them a solid direction in life, and a strong system of values that will guide their future, helping them to become loving parents, even breaking the cycle that may have left us alone.
If you have read this value and feel that you are not even close, be encouraged; no matter where you are in life, therapy can bring a new direction for you and your children. We accept all clients where they are in life, and it is never too late to start a new path. Every journey begins with a single step.
VALUE: We affirm the need and power of forgiveness, acknowledging that right and wrong exist.
Statement of Understanding:
We believe that fundamental right and wrong are not relative, but something that is commonly understood. For example, whether its "small" acts like cutting in line, or larger ones such as acts of harm, stealing, or deception, the same universal principles are known, regardless of culture. These are the basis for our conscience.
Forgiveness implies that someone was wronged. Whether you are giving forgiveness to someone who wronged you, or you need forgiveness for someone you have wronged, there is a recognition that something happened that should not have, or did not happen that should have. In order for forgiveness to occur there needs to be an acknowledgement of responsibility and of right and wrong, meaning that sometimes guilt is a healthy response to wrongdoing. Too often in society we look to pin responsibility on everyone else, with the notion that there is no such thing as "wrong". In the world of psychology, too often counselors just assume guilt is an unhealthy emotion that should be let-go. While we agree that there are certainly times when guilt can be harmful to growth (a battered wife who blames herself), we also acknowledge that guilt can be healthy, a sign that an individual has a conscience, and a call to action. It is much more tragic when someone can hurt others and feel no guilt.
When we hurt someone else or when someone hurts us, we need to forgive, not just those who hurt us, but ourselves as well. Forgiveness allows us to let go of the hurt, and be free from guilt. Forgiveness is very powerful and essential in any committed relationship, and important for our own selves. Sometimes forgiving our self is harder than forgiving anyone else.
PRINCIPLE: Naturopathic Philosophy
We believe in resolving the underlying problems that lead to depression, anxiety, and other emotional and physiological issues. While medication may be a necessary part of an individual’s process to wellness, where possible, we work to free the client from the problems that medication has been prescribed to address. This results in the client requiring less or no medication and not becoming dependant on counselling. To put simply, drugs are a last resort, not a first resort. Far too many times, drugs are rapidly prescribed as a quick way to treat a client when they are not always necessary. We do not want to resort to drugs as an easy way out of dealing with a problem, yet at the same time we acknowledge that drugs are an important component of mental health. At all times, we work with, not against, the professional medical care given to our clients.
PRINCIPLE: Guide Not a Judge
While our counselors share common values, our clients need not. A client may live a life of different values, and is still accepted and welcomed, as we have a "come as you are" approach. And even though we believe in right and wrong, it is not our place to be judgmental, dictate, or impose on a client. No matter what the values of a client are, a good counselor will accept that client, and be a listener first. A counselor can never "fix" a problem or change someone, only the client can do that. A counselor that spends more time talking in sessions than his or her clients is probably missing out on important opportunities to understand and lead the client into a path of discovery. While there are certainly times that it may be appropriate to spend a lot of time advising a client, a good counselor is first a listener before being a speaker. A good counselor establishes a safe, collaborative relationship with the client and it is within the safety of this container that effective therapy takes place. A good counselor will guide, rather than judge. A good counselor will listen, rather than lecture. It is always the client, not the therapist, who must make the decisions regarding their life. The grounded counselor shows the way and provides the tools; the client must then make the choice and walk the path.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Trauma counseling
When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. - Author Unkown
What is Trauma and Traumatic Stress?
Trauma is an extremely subjective experience. What may be traumatic for one person may barely affect another. In a general sense though, trauma results when you experience excessive stress that overwhelms your emotional or physical ability to cope. While emotional trauma can result in the absence of any physical trauma, many times the two go hand-in-hand. For instance, the wounds from physical trauma like the loss of a limb or a gunshot wound, while an obvious shock to the body, will eventually heal. What the person is then left with, however, are the emotional wounds and repercussions of the actual traumatic event. Psychological trauma can last for many years, and if unresolved, can even become more devastating than the original traumatic event.
Millions of people affected each year by any number of traumas like natural disasters, fires, war, or even those that have no physical component such as the death of a friend or an acrimonious divorce or break up. The bottom line is, after the physical wounds heal, the majority of people are still left to deal with the psychological aftermath of these traumatic experiences. If left unchecked, these emotional wounds can quickly fester into serious lasting psychological issues. Through counseling and therapy however, you can learn to release these emotional binds and just as the physical wounds of trauma eventually heal, so will the psychological scars.
What Causes Psychological Trauma?
As horrific as the traumatic event may seem, it’s not actually the event itself that causes someone to become traumatized. It’s that person’s internal reaction to the event that determines the degree and intensity of their trauma. This is why two people can be in the same plane crash for example, and one person can go on with life as usual after the event but the other almost immediately falls to pieces. Both people experience the same event but their reactions to that event have very different psychological implications. Much of how someone reacts is directly related to their history, coping skills, and emotional stability at the time. We also now know that when you experience a traumatic event, the structure and functioning capabilities of your brain are physically affected.
There are any number of traumatic events, but generally, they are categorized as either one-time or single-incident events or repeated, long-term traumas. One-time traumas include such things as hurricanes, plane crashes, rape, robbery, or the death of somebody. These types of traumas can result from natural causes or be deliberately inflicted by another person. A long term trauma is the result of a prolonged horrific experience such as an individual held captive or one who is repeatedly abused. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a frequent result of long-term trauma.
What Are the Symptoms of Someone who has been Traumatized?
Traumatic experiences can produce emotional, cognitive, and physical repercussions. Emotionally, trauma victims can become anxious, depressed, fearful, and withdrawn. They can have recurring panic attacks. Mentally, if you have experienced a trauma you will likely also experience concentration problems; you could have problems remembering things, and feel distracted much of the time. In extreme cases, people experience flashbacks of the event, nightmares, amnesia, and intense feelings of guilt. Physically, many people have eating and sleeping problems. They are regularly exhausted and often, they develop unexplained chronic pain.
How Do I Know When to Get Help?
Trauma can affect anyone at any age. The effects can be mild or severe, creating extreme psychological issues. Any symptoms of trauma should be taken seriously. In some cases however, the effects of trauma can manifest months and even years after the event, so in actuality, it can be difficult to recognize the symptoms. Often people feel they are weak for needing help, especially when they compare themselves to others who may have endured the same traumatic experience. But it is important to remember that everyone reacts differently to trauma and there is no guideline as to how and what someone should feel. What we do know is that the sooner you deal with the symptoms of trauma, the better chance you have for a full recovery and to be free of the effects of these events. If left unresolved, emotional trauma can affect your daily choices and functioning and ultimately, it can manifest into serious psychological disorders with lasting effects. Just as we need help to heal the physical effects of trauma, we also need help to heal the emotional wounds. Counseling offers a safe and supportive environment to work through these issues.
Counseling for the Resolution of Trauma
Working with a Values-Based counselor to address the effects of a trauma can be a confusing and frightening task to begin. Whether the events occurred in childhood, five years ago, or last week, the impact of these troubling situations is not something we are taught how to resolve. Often, the thought of going through the events again and seemingly reliving the tragedy may appear more than we can bear. When you work with a Theravive counselor who has been professionally trained in the resolution for trauma, he or she understands this apprehension and is committed to working through these issues at whatever pace is comfortable and safe for you.
Many times, we learn how to cope and manage the symptoms of a trauma. Whether this is learning to calm ourselves when we experience a panic attack upon the reminder of an event, or seeking solace in our friends when we experience depression or sadness over the effects of the trauma. While these are important and helpful methods to manage the symptoms, a trauma counsellor focuses on resolution of the originating feelings and emotions that require coping skills into the future. If individuals have a lack of safety or security as a result of an event that left them exposed, vulnerable, or violated, trauma counseling begins by establishing a sense of safety for the individual.
The Importance of the Crisis Counselor
The trauma counsellor utilizes specialized techniques to identify and work through the emotions that have been internalized from the event. Often, individuals do not think “I should be afraid”, rather it becomes a state of being that is used to protect from potential harm. However, when this protection leaves the individual feeling anxious rather than safe, or sad about past events rather than focused on future possibilities, the coping mechanisms lose their usefulness. It is at this point that we see many individuals seek crisis counselling, as the current coping skills are no longer able to manage the symptoms. For some, this collapse of internal coping mechanisms can result in an emotional and psychological breakdown.
We provide and refer counselors specially trained in trauma counseling who work to resolve the negative emotions that remain from the experiences you endured. Freedom from the overwhelming emotions and feelings is possible resulting in fewer burdens and an ability reclaim your life and future.
.
What is Trauma and Traumatic Stress?
Trauma is an extremely subjective experience. What may be traumatic for one person may barely affect another. In a general sense though, trauma results when you experience excessive stress that overwhelms your emotional or physical ability to cope. While emotional trauma can result in the absence of any physical trauma, many times the two go hand-in-hand. For instance, the wounds from physical trauma like the loss of a limb or a gunshot wound, while an obvious shock to the body, will eventually heal. What the person is then left with, however, are the emotional wounds and repercussions of the actual traumatic event. Psychological trauma can last for many years, and if unresolved, can even become more devastating than the original traumatic event.
Millions of people affected each year by any number of traumas like natural disasters, fires, war, or even those that have no physical component such as the death of a friend or an acrimonious divorce or break up. The bottom line is, after the physical wounds heal, the majority of people are still left to deal with the psychological aftermath of these traumatic experiences. If left unchecked, these emotional wounds can quickly fester into serious lasting psychological issues. Through counseling and therapy however, you can learn to release these emotional binds and just as the physical wounds of trauma eventually heal, so will the psychological scars.
What Causes Psychological Trauma?
As horrific as the traumatic event may seem, it’s not actually the event itself that causes someone to become traumatized. It’s that person’s internal reaction to the event that determines the degree and intensity of their trauma. This is why two people can be in the same plane crash for example, and one person can go on with life as usual after the event but the other almost immediately falls to pieces. Both people experience the same event but their reactions to that event have very different psychological implications. Much of how someone reacts is directly related to their history, coping skills, and emotional stability at the time. We also now know that when you experience a traumatic event, the structure and functioning capabilities of your brain are physically affected.
There are any number of traumatic events, but generally, they are categorized as either one-time or single-incident events or repeated, long-term traumas. One-time traumas include such things as hurricanes, plane crashes, rape, robbery, or the death of somebody. These types of traumas can result from natural causes or be deliberately inflicted by another person. A long term trauma is the result of a prolonged horrific experience such as an individual held captive or one who is repeatedly abused. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a frequent result of long-term trauma.
What Are the Symptoms of Someone who has been Traumatized?
Traumatic experiences can produce emotional, cognitive, and physical repercussions. Emotionally, trauma victims can become anxious, depressed, fearful, and withdrawn. They can have recurring panic attacks. Mentally, if you have experienced a trauma you will likely also experience concentration problems; you could have problems remembering things, and feel distracted much of the time. In extreme cases, people experience flashbacks of the event, nightmares, amnesia, and intense feelings of guilt. Physically, many people have eating and sleeping problems. They are regularly exhausted and often, they develop unexplained chronic pain.
How Do I Know When to Get Help?
Trauma can affect anyone at any age. The effects can be mild or severe, creating extreme psychological issues. Any symptoms of trauma should be taken seriously. In some cases however, the effects of trauma can manifest months and even years after the event, so in actuality, it can be difficult to recognize the symptoms. Often people feel they are weak for needing help, especially when they compare themselves to others who may have endured the same traumatic experience. But it is important to remember that everyone reacts differently to trauma and there is no guideline as to how and what someone should feel. What we do know is that the sooner you deal with the symptoms of trauma, the better chance you have for a full recovery and to be free of the effects of these events. If left unresolved, emotional trauma can affect your daily choices and functioning and ultimately, it can manifest into serious psychological disorders with lasting effects. Just as we need help to heal the physical effects of trauma, we also need help to heal the emotional wounds. Counseling offers a safe and supportive environment to work through these issues.
Counseling for the Resolution of Trauma
Working with a Values-Based counselor to address the effects of a trauma can be a confusing and frightening task to begin. Whether the events occurred in childhood, five years ago, or last week, the impact of these troubling situations is not something we are taught how to resolve. Often, the thought of going through the events again and seemingly reliving the tragedy may appear more than we can bear. When you work with a Theravive counselor who has been professionally trained in the resolution for trauma, he or she understands this apprehension and is committed to working through these issues at whatever pace is comfortable and safe for you.
Many times, we learn how to cope and manage the symptoms of a trauma. Whether this is learning to calm ourselves when we experience a panic attack upon the reminder of an event, or seeking solace in our friends when we experience depression or sadness over the effects of the trauma. While these are important and helpful methods to manage the symptoms, a trauma counsellor focuses on resolution of the originating feelings and emotions that require coping skills into the future. If individuals have a lack of safety or security as a result of an event that left them exposed, vulnerable, or violated, trauma counseling begins by establishing a sense of safety for the individual.
The Importance of the Crisis Counselor
The trauma counsellor utilizes specialized techniques to identify and work through the emotions that have been internalized from the event. Often, individuals do not think “I should be afraid”, rather it becomes a state of being that is used to protect from potential harm. However, when this protection leaves the individual feeling anxious rather than safe, or sad about past events rather than focused on future possibilities, the coping mechanisms lose their usefulness. It is at this point that we see many individuals seek crisis counselling, as the current coping skills are no longer able to manage the symptoms. For some, this collapse of internal coping mechanisms can result in an emotional and psychological breakdown.
We provide and refer counselors specially trained in trauma counseling who work to resolve the negative emotions that remain from the experiences you endured. Freedom from the overwhelming emotions and feelings is possible resulting in fewer burdens and an ability reclaim your life and future.
.
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