True love or not true love?

Many girls of 15 like to ask me what is true love mean? They were so 'in love' with the guys they met, so dramatic, so beautiful. I never condemn their feelings, at this point I understand how they feel. Girls at puberty start to experience changes in their feelings, and they will undergo this kind of feelings if they are normal. But most girls are shy to show out, they will secretly admire some guys. I did come across some girls who are a bit extreme in their emotion which might end up with greater problems. Su Lin(nick name) was 15 when she was caught kissing with a boy of her age behind the stair case after school. She was sent to see me for counseling sessions. "Teacher, what is true love? " Well this is what I always tell them,"True love means when a boy or a girl meet, there's a kind of affectionate feeling towards each other, wanting to live together for ever..." And they'll laugh and said," Oh that's old fashion teacher! We only want to have fun, never think of ever after kind of things..." Well I am afraid, this is the trend today that make most parents worry . True love, very hard to explain true love when of course I don't think their love is true. The kind of feeling they undergo is affection.Its the chemistry changes in their body that cause the thing. True love takes more than just have fun. "You must be matured enough to understand your feelings toward someone. To get married, you must be economically stable... and true love, the feelings never die ever after..."

There are stages in live where everyone of us must undergo. At different stage, we have a duty to perform. When during childhood, we learn the basic survival skills and the basic education. When we proceed to adolescent, during secondary school, we have to gather as much knowledge as possible to enable us to meet with challenges during adulthood. But, alas! This is the worst time of all where problems come; conflicting with parents, in love problems, peers problems etc..and all these problems have distracted your concentration towards your actual task as a teenager. What is your actual important task now as a teenager? To study! Doing the best for your future.

To fall in love at this time is a waste of time. At the end, its lose-lose situation. As time pass by you'll find that this kind of feeling is not true love. Wait until you are matured enough to understand what love means. Time will come, for true love, don't worry!

Just talk to your parents

Teenagers find its difficult to talk to their parents. Most likely they will end up conflicting and arguing because they couldn't understand each other. That why many parents complaint about communications problem with their teens. " They lock themselves in the room, I don't know what they do inside." " They're not telling me anything what's happening in school..." On the other hand the teenagers claim that there are aliens living in their parents body. " My mum and dad can never understand me, I can't talk to them." Parents nowadays have been tolerating a lot upon their teens. But as a teenager you have to take responsiblity too to communicate with your parents. It's important because you have nothing to lose, in fact you'll gain !
First, you must seek to understand your parent by just listening to them. Of course many of you would think I am bias to say so. Why we cannot communicate with parents mainly due to our weakness in listening skill . We have no patience to listen. We avoid putting ourselves in their shoes. We always think our parents are super people who never get hurt, never frustrated, never give up no matter what nonsense we do. But we are wrong! Parents are human too. They do make mistakes, got bad times in their office, got worries, upset or sometimes giving up hope. You have your role to play. Your dad or mum want to talk to you and you can just listen. May be they need someone to talk to. They need someone dear like you to share their feelings. You can start the conversation by asking" So how's your day today mum/dad?" Listen genuinely, have eyes contact and show your interest. Sometimes your parents give you advices, which I know most teenagers dislike. Some parents have poor skill of giving advices because it finally turn out to be boring nagging! Nag, nag, nag... and the teens avoid you whenever you open your mouth. If your mum and dad want to give advices(though you hate it) just listen, think about the good points in their advices. Always remember that they love you. Its all for your own good!
Just listen is a win-lose situation. My second point is to give respond or feedback. Some teenagers just keep their mouths shut though they disagree with their parents . "No point talking to them, they wouldn't understand! Silent is golden." But I strongly disagree to this. You must respond, of course in a positive way. To respond doesn't mean argument. You may have your rational , just speak up your feelings in a harmony tone. Once I stop my son playing computer games which I think is destructive to brain especially when playing for hours non stop. This was what he said," Mum, I have no friends and no other hobbies, games is something I can enjoy and relax my mind. This is a game of my age, I may not be playing games anymore when I am 40. But I promise you to do my best in my study, otherwise you can delete all my games." A compromise was made. So I gave in on the term that he mustn't slack in his study. Sometimes you need to seek for approval over somethings may be your parents disagree; well speak up and give good reasons. But not everything must turn out favourable on your side. There are things your parents have to turn you down for some reasons you must accept . Parents are people who have experience and knowledge more than you(eat more salt), the fact is most of the time they are right. So just accept. By giving feedback or respond you could make yourself understood. Communication need to take both sides. Nobody could understand if you just keep quiet and avoid talking to your parent.
To conclude, you have nothing to lose if you can communicate with your parent well. You might gain more respect, trust and favour. Just fly into their shoes and think what should you do if you are them.

Confussion

Who's telling lies and who's telling truth?

Who's the convict and who's innocent?

Who's corrupting and who's clean?

What seem very clear yet is blurred.

What seem logical yet is senseless.

What seem simple yet is difficult.

The criminal stays free and the innocent to jail.

The justice to exile and the injustice withheld .

The true testimonial is not in favour.

All these because somebody wants power.

The power can change the wrong to right.

The power can change the bad to good.

The power can change the evils to saint.

It takes 50 years to win the trust.

And one day is enough to lost it all.

Another 50 years the trust no more.

Once empire fall forever fall.

The history has proven yet to learn.